Friends come in all shapes and sizes

What type of friends do you have & what type of friends do you like?

We all need friends for different reasons.

I have all different varieties of friends.

My closest friends are actually the ones that I know are there but we give each other space. I think that it is a little like love. You have to give each other space in order to grow closer.

They are the ones that I call my best friends. We have been friends since we were kids. We have kids around the same age & we are at the same stage of life. We have all been married for many years, we are going through or about to go through those teenage years with our kids. We always have & always will be there for each other. They are my life long friends.

Many of them have moved away for work reasons & some have even moved back. Those that visit when in town know that my door is always open for them. I miss them more than anything when it can be months & even years between visits but I know that we will always be apart of each others lives for ever.

Then there is what I call the “every day friends”. You see them at the school when you drop the kids off, you wave & have a chat if you bump into them at the shops. You have kids that have a friendship with each other & you become friends with each other.  You like to be friends with them because it is a way of social interaction without getting too caught up in each others business.

Then there is the “new friends”. People who you have met through work, sports, etc. Sometimes it is a friendship that grows without you even knowing. You have not known them very long but you feel like you have known them forever.

Now, we even have “social media friends”. They are the newest form of friends. You may never meet these friends but they are always there. You just have to log on to find them. They may have been friendships formed through Facebook, blogs, etc. You have something in common with these friends. You either bond through hobbies, interests or through talking about everyday things. I have made a lot of these friends over the past 12 months who sometimes know me better than I know myself!

Then there are “those friends”. We all have them. Those friends who throw themselves into your life & you have no idea how they did. They do not know boundaries. They are all too smothering. They are always there, always trying to be more involved in your life than you wanted. They think that they are your only friend. They want to tell you everything about their lives. You have nothing in common with them but they still think that they are the biggest thing in your life. They want you to spend all of your spare time with them  & somehow they start making decisions for you. They tell you that you are going to do something with them but they don’t ask. You know that they do not have power over you but they some how become so controlling that it is easier to give in. When you do say that you are busy or it is not a good time, they get upset.

I personally think that it is time for me to stand up to those friends. Tell them that no is my choice.

I tell my daughters when I can see that a friend is not being a true friend to them so now I am taking my own advice. I tell them to let someone know when they are being too smothering. I am now taking my own advice.

Life is busy, life changes for day to day & moment to moment.

Who cares if you are busy or not, we shouldn't have to spend time doing anything if we don't want to. Why do we feel as though we have to make excuses. Maybe I should just say, "No, I don't want to."

I will no longer feel guilty for saying no because they did not feel sorry for being controlling. I am so mad at myself to think that I have let people affect my life like this & make me feel like this.

I will cherish those friends who do not question our friendship & they never need to ask if they have done something wrong because I have said I can't make it to something or do something with them. They know my life & I know theirs. We amy go months without speaking but it also means that we have a lot to catch up on when we next speak. There is no awkward silences.