With children's birthdays, comes time to think about how life flies by without us even realising.
With both of my girls having birthdays in March it really hits me all at once. By the end of next month, I will be the mother of an 11 year old & a teenager.
I am waaaayyyyy too young to be the mother of either.
I am still trying to figure out who I am yet I am watching my daughters grow so quickly that it is a little frightening.
How can I help them decide on what they want to be when they grow up, what subjects that want to study to help them get closer to their goals when at 32 (ouch, that hurt), I am still trying to figure out what I want to do.
I was only 19 when I gave birth to Kiara & Georgia was born just a few months after my 21st birthday. They were the 2 most incredible things to ever happen in my life.
I know that because of having children so early , that I grew up a lot quicker than most.
Now don’t get me wrong, I would not have changed a thing. I have 2 incredibly beautiful, smart, thoughtful children who make my heart burst with pride every day.
The thing is that I know that it will only be a few years until Kiara is begging me for driving lessons & Georgia will be saying that it is not fair that Kiara gets to go to parties & she is never allowed to do anything. I know that it will only be a few years & Kiara will replace her love of sports with a fascination for boys.
It all just seems to be moving too fast.
Those little babies with their bright blue eyes who looked at me with the most utmost confidence that I would protect them, they have grown & I know that I have to let them.
Kiara is already making the most grown up of decisions. She has already faced peer pressure & walked away with such confidence that makes me envious.
Georgia is showing that she is growing up as well. She has had a tough couple of years dealing with her Daddy being away so much & I am so thankful to her fabulous teacher who has made her see that she has someone on her side.
He is the most wonderful teacher. He was also Kiara’s teacher last year & I know that I have him to thank for making Kiara do her best & expect nothing less. I don’t know if he realises just what he does for kids. He shies away from any recognition of his hard work. Although, he seems to enjoy his job as a teacher so much that he probably does not even look at it as work.
Having a great teacher in my kids lives helps so much.
It is just like the saying
It takes a village to raise a child
For the last 6 years, I have raised my girls by myself. With hubby away most of the time & our families moving away, it has been really hard. I know that our families say that they are only a phone call away but that does not replace “being there”.
I know that with the help of a fabulous teacher, the job is not quite as hard as it has been.
I know that my girls & I are incredibly close, closer than most Mothers & daughters. We have an incredible bond because they know how hard it is for all 3 of us. We don’t live a life of roses, we also get stung by the thorns. They do know however, that I am their Mother & they treat me with incredible respect. I am not talking about keep their rooms clean or putting their clothes away, I mean the fact that they do not raise their voice at me, they do not speak to me in a harsh way, they respect me & I respect the fact that they are growing. I give them their freedom but I give it to them in ways that I know they can handle. I let them choose their own style, their haircuts, the music they listen to, I let them be themselves.
However, I control the important things in their lives. I do a drive past of any new friends house before I will agree to let them go. Kiara has now learnt what is ok & what is not. We will drive past a new friends house & she will now say that she doesn’t think it is a good idea. You can just tell. I have taught her enough that she now knows her own gut instinct is the right way to go. I am so glad that she has all that figured out before she is a teenager next month. One thing that I have learnt is that teaching your children that their intuition is the most important thing that they should ever listen to. She not only knows right from wrong but she can now feel it.
I really believe that you have to pick your battles with children. Who cares if they don’t like the same food as you when they are little kids. I can promise you that as they get older, they will eat. They will get hungry. If they want to eat mac & cheese every night, let them. Trust me when I say that one day, might be weeks or months, they will get bored. They will then try something new. Who cares if they only want to dress in a princess dress or only wear a superman cape & shorts. Is it really worth fighting with them about?
I can promise you that when they are the same age as my kids are now, you will wish that you didn’t spend so long fighting over the little things. The little things are nothing in the grand scheme of things. Some days now, my girls will drive me completely bonkers. They leave mess everywhere, I have to ask 5 times for them to clean the dishwasher. I have to remind them 20 times to turn off the light when they walk out of the room. But I have learnt that yelling at them does not work, getting mad at them does not work. I pick my battles. When one of them has mowed the lawn for me, who cares if they have left their shoes in the hallway……..they just mowed the lawn! Not because they have to do but because they know that I have to do it every week & they want to do something nice for me. Who cares if they have left a plate on the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher…they just did their homework without being asked & were so proud that they came to show you their work.
I really believe that you need to pick your battles. If you are always hard on your children & yelling at them constantly, they will tune out & you are wasting you time & energy.
I can tell you that we have so many fun times in my house. We can have hours of giggling, laughing & joking. We have some incredibly hard times as well. But when we laugh together, the bad stuff disappears.
I will cherish all the years that I have been able to listen to them laugh. As some of you know, I have a hearing disability & I am gradually losing my hearing. I don’t know what I will do when I can no longer hear them laugh so I make the most of it now so that I will have the memory forever.
Today, if you do just one thing, laugh with your kids.
Trust me, it is priceless